Happy Birthday Hog!
Here's one you might appreciate...
This is a squawk sheet left for the Engine shops by a train crew.
Quote:
(P) Dynamic brakes don't work at any speed.
(S) This locomotive not equipped with dynamic brake.
(P) #2 traction motor seeping oil.
(S) #2 traction motor seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 motors lack normal seepage.
(P) Something loose in cab.
(S) Something tightened in cab.
(P) Evidence of leak in crankcase.
(S) Evidence removed.
(P) Alternator volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Locomotive dances up and down when brake applied at 89MPH.
(S) Could not reproduce problem in enginehouse.
(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.
(P) Parking brake cause throttle lever to stick.
(S) That's what its there for.
(P) Engine missing.
(S) Engine found under hood after brief search.
(P) Locomotive handles funny.
(S) Locomotive given verbal warning to be serious.
(P) Radio hums.
(S) Reprogrammed radio with the words.